How to be your own person and be yourself happily. Being surrounded by people and depending on others isn’t what you always need. Sometimes you wish you could be by yourself, do things alone, live a happy life, do what you love and not what others tell you. If that is what you want, then many people ride in the same boat with you. We all want to be happy alone but more often than not we only seem to be happy when we are around certain peoples. So why can’t you be your own person?
The problem is since infancy, you have been around your parent, siblings, and friends. You have not gone more than 3 days without being surrounded by them. So that companionship has developed some sense of humor in your brain, making you feel that you need them to be happy. Does that mean I can’t be my own person? Not at all, you can surely learn some hacks that will help you to know how to be your own person. I will show you how but first what is…
Being your own person meaning? Or you are your own person meaning? When we say one is by himself or herself, it simply means, that person is able to do things by himself or herself more happily. We can also say that such a person doesn’t need to be surrounded by others before feeling happy. He is a person who depends on himself, does things himself, does what he loves, enjoy his own companion. Is that not an amazing life?
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Surly it is, and that is exactly what am going to show you. But…
How do I become myself? To answer this question, you first need to learn how to be your own person. It’s like a marathon runner who asked his coach – please how can I take the first position in the competition? The coach can’t actually run the marathon for him to be the first. All he has to do is to give him hacks or some powerful training that will help the runner to take the first position.
The same is true in your situation. To be yourself, you can’t wake up one morning from bed and be thinking you are on yourself, no. You need to learn the guides that will help you to be your own self. The hacks are just below, so pay close attention.
Table of Contents
11 Ways To Be Yourself And Live More Happily
1. Don’t compare yourself to others
This is something you cannot completely get rid of but you can train your mind from doing it. What it actually means for you to stop comparing yourself to others is that – comparing yourself to others make you feel inferior and loose hope in yourself. And if you have no hope in yourself, how are you going to be able to do things by yourself? How are you going to depend on yourself? Again, comparing yourself to others who are of high standard or above your position will make you feel less important in your company or in the mix of others.
I know what you are thinking, what if I compare myself to people who are below my standard or position? That will make me feel more important right? Wrong. Doing so will make you feel arrogant and the more you compare yourself to people below your standard, the more likely you will to those above your position. And the more you repeat this comparison the harder it will be for you to stop because it will develop into a habit. And remember, habit is nothing but what we repeatedly do.
So, what should you learn here to know how to be your own person? Stop comparing yourself to others who are above or below your standard.
The easiest way to do this is to…
2. Be positive to yourself – You are what you think you are
How do you figure out who you are as a person? The process isn’t worth knowing, either you like holding negative thought or bad to yourself, the key here is to be positive to yourself. Because you are definitely what you think you are. Your outer world is a complete summary of your inner world. The thought you have been thinking about has brought you to where you are. If you have been holding negative thoughts, I can surely guess you don’t like yourself.
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But if all your thoughts are positive, your outer world will be amazing. So be positive and forgive yourself for all the past mistakes you have done and focus on the days ahead of you. No one is 100% perfect in this world. In our day to day activities, we will commit mistakes and do other stupid things. But you don’t have to let those things stop you from being yourself. There is always room for improvement, so forget the mistakes you have done and remember the lesson. Apply those lessons in the coming days and your future self will thank you for it.
You can never be positive to yourself if you focus on the bad things you have done. Because such things will make you feel ashamed and lose confidence. So thinks of some of the great things you have done or achieve. Let those things serve as a source of encouragement or motivation on your journey to success.
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How to be your own person by being positive to yourself. The next step will show you how. So pay close attention.
3. Forget about how others sees you
How you think others see you in life can really hurt your happiness. There was a friend of mine who forcedly became an introvert during college. He wasn’t born as an introvert and I know he was an extrovert from childhood. But he was an albino so he thought because of his appearance others see him as less important or someone they don’t want to be near. Because of this view of himself, he began isolating himself from most of his friends. His friends wanted to hang out with him but to him, he thought how he sees himself was exactly how his friends see him.
Because of this, he became so unhappy with his appearance. You will always see him alone, if you invite him to your house he will not show up. Not even will he invite you to his house and it became so hard to hold a chat with him. One morning in lectures, we heard that Ben has committed suicide in the dormitory. It was so hard to believe but when we rushed to the dormitory and saw his body, tears roll out from our eyes.
At the end of that semester, a sermon was given to the entire student by one professor, and his title was “Be yourself and forget about how others see you” We all knew that sermon was given because of Ben’s suicide. So don’t let how others view you ruin your happiness in life. Forget about others’ opinions and know-how to be your own person.
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You remember I promise you of a gift right? Is in the below step so check it out…
4. Know yourself and figure out who you are as a person
There is a saying that goes “The first step to personal happiness is self-knowledge” If you figure out who you are as a person the limit of your happiness can never be measured. Because you will be aware of your capabilities and what you are not capable of doing. And also the more you know yourself the more likely you will put in much effort into things you are capable of achieving. Getting to know yourself is really hard to do I will not lie to you on that. Because it is really easy to see the flaws of others than your own.
So the best way to figure out who you are is to let a family member or a friend list a couple of things he likes and dislike about you. But you don’t have to count on one person for this, you can ask two or three relatives. Then look within the list and see what common characters your relative will present to you. Those are your characters and who you are as a person. You can also do a self-examination of yourself but I don’t recommend that. Better ask your friends to briefly describe who you are on paper.
When you have finally gotten to know yourself, you then have to look at some of the areas of your life that need improvement and some habits that need to be eliminated. Work on those areas and your life will be amazing as you learn how to be your own person. How can I improve my life and be happy? The next step will show you how…
5. Make personal development your priority – the key to be your own person
You remember I told you in step 4 to know more about others and not yourself right? Wrong. That is not what I said, “Know yourself and figure out who you are as a person” that is what I said, kindly have a look above. And you can only do that by making personal development your priority. By the way, if this is your first time hearing about ‘personal development’ let me explain. It’s nothing but simply a way of identifying some areas of your life that need improvement and elimination.
Here is an example, Let say John has a bad habit of watching television for 6 hours every night before bed. And a habit of not meeting his deadline. Here, when John takes time to figure out his life, he will know that he needs to improve his productivity level so that he can meet his deadlines. And also his habit of watching 6 hours of television needs to be cut down to 3 hours or to stop watching the TV. The process of John figuring out and working on these two areas of his life is what is termed as personal development.
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Let John work on those characters and he will be more productive and his client or boss will love him much. And also let him shun the need to improve these two areas and he will soon be fired by his boss. Because no manager would love to work with an employee who cannot meet his deadline. So put yourself in John’s position and do the same with your life.
If you have a bad habit, can you still learn how to be your own person? Below step will answer it…
6. Get rid of bad habits and be your own person
Having a bad habit can make you unhappy and even those among you. And if you don’t take measures to get rid of it, you can never be your own person. Why because you will always be upset with yourself, bad habits are really worse to live with. It can shape your identity and how others see you. This reminds me of a guy who stole someone’s money on the street someday. When he was caught almost all the peoples gathered there were amused at how an innocent face boy could do that. His father was a well-known pastor of a highly growing church so nobody thought his child could do that. This brought shame to the pastor’s family and all of its church members. Soon the church began to lose members and now it is collapsed.
So you see how bad habits can shape your identity and those around you? Habits are very hard to get rid of once they are formed. But don’t let that fool you, you can replace it with a good one if you can’t completely remove it. You just need to take a slow process and go with it. The beginning will be hard but you can do it. If you want to get rid of any habit then I suggest you check out this book – the atomic habit. It is a book that I have used to improve most areas of my life so if you want to do the same, then check it out. If you are on an android phone you can held on to Google play store there is an app for it or simply get a hard copy of it at any local library.
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Can you totally master the act of being yourself by getting rid of your bad habits?
No, that is only half of the work done. You also need to do one important thing which is to…
7. Say positive affirmations to yourself
There is power in repeating positive affirmations to yourself. Let use Muhammad Ali the great boxer for instance. Whenever he is in the ring on a point of losing, he will say to himself “Muhammad Ali am the best” He will repeat this affirmation several times to himself until the match is over. And that is his secret of winning 97% of all his matches in his boxing career. He didn’t use any magic and what he did was two things, training and repeating of positive affirmation.
Why do I have to say positive affirmations to myself? In short, there is power in words, and however, you view yourself is exactly how you will found yourself. See yourself as unhealthy and you will find yourself prone to diseases. Again see yourself as more important and you will find yourself putting in more effort into your daily activities. So if your goal is to be your own person or to live a happy life. You can find some nice affirmation that will boost your confidence whenever you repeat it to yourself. Say something like “Am more productive when working alone” “Am always happy when am left alone” repeat those to yourself and it will soon be your habit.
Below comes the most “powerful” hack that will help you to know how to be your own person…
8. Dedicate your life to something you love
I have seen a lot of people full of stress and unhappy in life. Do you know why or can you guess? Is because they are doing almost everything they see others doing. But if you want to be your own person and live the life you deserve, you have to find that one thing you love doing and dedicate your life to it. There is no great source of joy than doing what you love. Bill Gates for instance found what he loved in his childhood and dedicated his life to it.
Computer programming was what he spends most of his time on. And because he was doing exactly what he loved, he never loses hope he was always happy coding. If he would have done what everyone was doing, there wouldn’t have been any Microsoft today or it could have been own by another person.
So find that thing you love doing and do it with full passion. And remember, there is always a way for achievement from where your passion lies. Forget about what your peers are doing even if it seems important. Because there is a high risk of involving yourself in activities you don’t love doing. And doing what you hate, you cannot put in much effort into that. And you cannot achieve great things from fewer effort activities. Focus on what you love doing and remember what Elon Must said “If something is really important to you. Just do it even if the odds are not at your favor”
If there is one take away from this list of guide you want, then pay close attention to what is below…
9. Learn from your own mistakes and from others
So what are some of the mistakes in your life? Mistakes are errors or things that you thought you shouldn’t have done. For example, yesterday I entertained one of my friend on the phone who wasted almost 5 hours of my time. A time that I could have to utilize it for something that is worth having, I just let it slip away. To this, I have said to myself never to hold a chat with someone on the phone for more than 3 hours if am not going to get something valuable out of that call.
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That is one example of a mistake in my life and the lesson I have learned from it. You have also done a lot of mistakes over the past. No one is perfect so don’t feel bad when you do a mistake. What you should rather do is to learn something from all the mistakes you may have done. Let those lessons serve as a source of guidance for your life. You can also learn from the experience of others too and the best way to do this is through movies, podcast,s and one on one chat with elders. Some movies entail great lessons, so watch movies for learning’s sake don’t be watching just because others are.
10. Be your own person by building good habits
Bad habits in your life need to be eliminated. But as you get rid of those habits, you need to be building good ones. Having a couple of good habits will make you feel happy about yourself. And not only will you have an amazing life but those around you will always enjoy your companion. No one would like to be around someone with bad habits that drains the energy in others. Hanging around such a person will make your life miserable and if the people in your community get to know that such a person is your friend, they may have no respect for you. This is because we all know very well that birds of the same feathers fly together.
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So develop a good habit and others will love to be with you. Don’t be the kind of person that will say no here and yes there. Let your yes be yes and no be no. if you say something that you really mean it, stand for it and don’t change your words because of fear or others position. This is because, in reality, we all hate the person that will treat us right and treat the waiter badly.
11. Dare to be your own person by doing what you love, not what others want you to
There is a quote that says, if your path sets you aside from the cloud, stay alone. The key for getting to know how to be your own person is to do what you love and not what others want you to. Because ignoring your passion and following the max will lead you to nowhere. Even if you may achieve something out of it, you will feel you don’t like what you are doing.
This is why almost 70% of Americans hate their job. Why because most kids focus on the future their parents set for them and not what they really want to do. And once they are done with school and gotten the job their parent wants them to do, they begin to feel unhappy showing off at work each morning. This makes them put in less effort and unhappy in life even if the paycheck is huge. There is no big joy in doing what you love. Last year, a British comedian was interviewed on the radio about why he does that kind of work and this was his respond – Work? Am not working am just doing what I love to do.
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Indeed he was working as a comedian but because he had a passion for it he never felt like working. So if you really want to be happy in life, then stop listening to your peers and parents about what you should do with your life. Spend some time alone and figure out what you really love doing and dedicate your time to that. Don’t step in no man’s land, you have no relatives or friends there.
Why is it important to be your own person?
Why is it important to be your own person in life? Or is it really important to be your own person instead of listening to others? The answer actually depends on who you and what you like. Because there are others who were naturally born as introvert or extrovert. So naturally introverted people love to be their own person. You will always find them dining alone, walking alone, and studying alone. They were born naturally to enjoy their own companion and feel happy alone.
So you cannot compare such a person to an extrovert who can’t go by a single hour without being surrounded by friends. They feel happy when others are around them and hate being left alone. So the question of why is it important to be your own person in life actually depends on who you are. Look within yourself, are you an introvert or extrovert? You can’t be both so don’t be smart, caught you. In reality, we all wish we could live happily alone and do things we love. If that is what you want, then check the above list on how to be your own person and live happily.
Below is an important question about a relationship that needs to be answered. The answer isn’t found above anywhere in this guide, you can only see it by scrolling below…
How to be your own person in a relationship
How to be your own person in a relationship. Having a peaceful relationship is the dream of all young ones. Either you are on a point of studying your spouse or you have already gotten married. It won’t surprise me because you have actually thought of having a peaceful relationship where you and your partner will be him or herself while staying together. Congratulations! But what you might have not known is that being your own person in relation might hurt the other person in case he or she may not prefer to enjoy his own companion.
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Here is an example, Imagine you have gotten married to an introverted partner who prefers to go by his own words and to do things alone. Because introvert needs some space to restore their lost energy often due to introvert hangout, being too close to such a partner will make him or her feel exhausted. And if care is not taken he or she may get into a serious issue.
So my advice is that before you get yourself in any relationship, make sure your partner has the same qualities as you so that you can enjoy each companion. This way if both of you are introvert, you will know when you should give some space between each. Because you all understand the need to be alone sometimes to recharge when one partner is left alone, the other won’t be mad.
Be your own person quotes
Be your own person quotes that will inspire you to live happily alone. Knowing some great quotes about something will make you conquer such an analogy. So here is a list of some nice be your own personal quote that you can learn from.
- Silence is the language of God.
- When your path sets you apart from the cloud, stay alone.
- Be yourself and pay no mind to what they think about you.
- Learn how to be yourself. You will always be there for yourself
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